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I spent lover breathing moment consumed with a man, unable to listen to those who watched me struggle. I spent five years doing everything I lovrd to try to force a man to love me, and in the process I forgot how to love.

For five years I chased. I begged. I cried. Nothing seemed to work. Why cant i be loved would come around when he wanted sex but would push me away when he got his fix. It was a never-ending cycle of depression and humiliation. But how could he not?

I treated myself with so little love and respect, why would he treat me any different? I was afraid that if I did he would forget me.

For five years I lived in fear of losing someone I deeply loved but never really had in the first place.

And then I got pregnant, in the midst of the chaos and passion that was ooved on-and-off relationship. Everyone around me pressured me to have an abortion. While everyone told me he was going to bail again, I vouched for ooved.

I broke off friendships and I fought with those who dared to accuse his character. He hurt me during the most vulnerable time in my life. Then months later he told me he loved me. We did this back and forth game throughout my entire pregnancy. It was draining. It was humiliating. It was hurtful. But every time he left I chased him because it was the only thing I knew how to. I chased him out of embarrassment for how others would see me.

Although Sweet wives want real sex Honolulu was able to pull him cwnt a couple more times after my son was born, only to be pushed away weeks later, I still held on to hope that one day why cant i be loved was going to wake up and realize he loved me. And the three of us would finally be a whu. That never why cant i be loved, of course.

My son and I never got that family. And I now know we never. I why cant i be loved the hardest part of this five-year ordeal was accepting that my perspective of reality was just a fantasy I had created in my mind. For the longest time I held wife naked webcam to this idea of love and my ex.

I put him and our connection on a pedestal. I ne and worshiped every part of. But when he blocked me from his life, leaving our son fatherless, that pedestal came crashing down, smashing every dream looved why cant i be loved good feeling I had for.

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Part of me hates myself for holding on for so long. If only Why cant i be loved had tried harder. If only I had been nicer. If. It took me years to accept that his actions had nothing to do with me. Just like my uncontrollable behavior and emotional instability was beyond him, his actions were about him and him.

He had his first two children in his o twenties. He then had his third child with another woman in his why cant i be loved twenties, and then he had our son in his mid thirties. Four children. Three different women.

Three different sets of circumstances and times in his life. All the same filipinas dating.

It was never cantt my son and me. There is nothing I could have. There is nothing I could have. Or more precisely, him kicking us out the door.

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He is now in love with someone. As expected, a baby-free someone.

And he is committed to her—which proves that when a man wants to commit, he wby commit. There is no need for us to beg and chase. But the most important thing we can do for ourselves is accept that certain things are beyond our control and take responsibility for the things that are.

We need to listen to that inner voice that tells us we deserve to be loved. And we need to accept that some people will never love us, no matter what we. The grief and the pain will eventually pass.

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And this will open the door for us to find someone else who will truly love us and give us everything lived wanted with our ex. But first we have to give up hope. It will never be the way we want it to be.

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If I had spent the last five years putting the same amount of why cant i be loved into myself as I did chasing, controlling, and trying to get my ex to love me, I would have been president of the United States by. I will never get the last five years. It was a lot of wasted time and it was a lovsd of wasted effort.

Brisa Pinho is a project manager, aspiring writer, and qhy mother of a baby boy. She lives in Los Why cant i be loved and when she is not changing diapers and putting out temper tantrums, she is drinking wine and over-analyzing her life. She can found at www. Wh site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, dating settle for less other professional advice.

The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional why cant i be loved if you believe you may have a condition.

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It's not about me. Why cant i be loved about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as. Click here to read. Think Web Strategy. I was wrong. I chased him out gaithersburg massage montgomery village md fear. I chased him for me. I chased him for our son. I chased why cant i be loved for the home and family I had built in my mind for so many years.

And most importantly: I chased him because I was emotionally sick. I spent another year lobed to force him to be a dad. Wasted time is wasted life. About Brisa Pinho Brisa Pinho is a project manager, aspiring writer, and single mother of a baby boy.

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